


Fatherhood

by Beloved_nalla



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fatherhood, Implied Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, M/M, Parenthood, Thorin POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2017287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beloved_nalla/pseuds/Beloved_nalla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin is father raising his child on his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Thorin watched his young as she slept on the massive bed in the king’s chambers. He had never noticed how much she resembled Bilbo until now. She was extremely small compared to dwarf children, like Bilbo had been compared to Thorin. She had Thorin’s blue eyes, but Bilbo’s golden curls. Her features were delicate and smooth as Bilbo’s had been. Oh, how the dwarf king missed his hobbit. He wished that Bilbo could be there with him, watching their daughter rest, but he never would be. Bilbo would never get to be a part of her life, nor she his. Thorin’s heart ached knowing Thorthna would never know Bilbo or his loving heart and he hoped that he could be a proper father to her without screwing up. He often worried about it. He was not as good at parenting as Bilbo would’ve been.

Thorin’s gaze lay steadily upon his daughter even after Balin had entered the room as quietly as he could.

“She’s sleeping,” Thorin said, his voice hushed as not to wake her.

“How long have you been standing guard?” Balin teased.

Thorin was quiet for a moment before answering. “I fear that something will happen to her while I sleep.”

Balin touched the dwarf king’s shoulders. “She is perfectly safe here with you.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Balin.” Thorin looked down at his boots then, ashamed that he had admitted his fear out loud.

“That’s part of being a father, Thorin. You learn along the way.”

“Things are different now that Bilbo’s gone. I never thought I would have to do this alone.”

Balin rubbed the dwarf king’s back. “I know that it’s hard, but she needs you, Thorin Oakenshield.”

 “Perhaps I should send her to live in the Shire…” Thorin sighed. “I feel hopeless without Bilbo here to help me.”

Balin gave Thorin a stern look. “She is your daughter, Thorin. She needs to be here. Don’t abandon her to the Shire when she is much better off here.”

“Is she better off here? I don’t know how to do this on my own.” Thorin sighed conflicted about the entire situation. He loved his child with all his heart, like he did Bilbo, but he wanted what was best for her and he wasn’t sure if he was what she needed.

Balin touched Thorin’s arm. “You are surrounded by your kin. We are here to help you if you need. I don’t understand why you doubt yourself, Thorin. Bilbo had faith in you. He knew that you would be a wonderful father and you are. You just gotta have a little faith in yourself.”

Balin looked at Thorthna then at Thorin once more. “Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.” The dwarf took his leave. Thorin made his way over to the bed where his daughter slept peacefully. He wondered what she was dreaming of…perhaps of the father that she will never know or of the oaf that took care of her. Thorin hoped that if she was dreaming that it was pleasant. He changed into his nightshirt and lay next to the small being. He watched her protectively until sleep claimed him by default hoping that Bilbo would find a way to help him through this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Thorin sat on the floor watching his beloved daughter walk over to him. She had been hell-bent on walking, extremely quickly, all over the place since she discovered how to and the King under the Mountain had been granted the task of chasing her everywhere. He saw more of Bilbo’s spirit bursting through Thorthna every day that passed by. She became more and more like the hobbit with every inch of her being, even if she was unaware of it.

Thorin had begun wondering if she would have Bilbo’s sarcasm as well. She defied Thorin at every chance presented and she often gave him looks that he knew were Bilbo’s. Thorthna was only a year old, but she seemed older in a way.

She had shown Thorin love even when he doubted himself. Every night she would hold out her arms for Thorin to pick her up and hold her until she fell asleep. He felt needed in those moments and enjoyed holding his daughter, finding it peaceful. The company gave him unlimited support with the child as well, offering to help watch her when Thorin had meetings and even when he needed a small break from twenty-four hour daddy duties.

He was exhausted and sleep deprived from running after her all day and then worrying about her when she slept. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. He refused to lose another loved one again. Losing his dear hobbit had been unimaginable and heart-wrenchingly painful that the dwarf king had almost completely checked out until he remembered that his daughter needed him. Thorin had hid his anguish and grief away and focused on being there for Thorthna. When he needed a few hours to himself, the company knew that he was allowing this grief to finally take over until he was able to compose it once more. It wasn’t time for his daughter to know of Bilbo and he didn’t want her to feel responsible for the tears that Thorin shed.

Thorthna finally reached Thorin and jumped happily, giggling. Thorin smiled at his daughter, proud of her and completely absorbed by her happiness. She barely fussed any, always smiling and curious about everything. She found interest in Thorin’s thick locks a lot, often tugging at the braids in the front or smoothing her tiny hands across his beard. Thorthna had a will of her own and Thorin hoped that she never lost it. He knew that it would make her strong when she got older. He hoped dearly that her spirit stayed as Bilbo’s had been. It was the one thing that he remembered most about the hobbit and would help him tell Thorthna about Bilbo in the future when she was ready to learn who he was.

Thorin picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He hoped that all of the walking she’d done had worn her out a bit. She needed to sleep well. As she made contact with the bed, her eyes began to close. Thorin kissed his daughter’s forehead and rubbed her back until she was sound asleep for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

“Ouch!” The young dwarf looked up at her father with piercing eyes. “That hurt,” she pouted.

“I’m sorry, darling, but if you keep squirming we’ll never get your curls in braids.”  Thorin sighed, refocusing on the task of braiding small braids through his daughter’s coarse hair. It was long, golden and full of untamable curls. Thorin guessed that she had received that trait from both himself and Bilbo. It probably didn’t help that she kept fidgeting when Thorin tried to make the braid tighter so that it would stay in place. After a few more desperate attempts he finally finished and let the young child loose. She inspected the braids she could see and gave Thorin a look of distaste. Thorthna sure had Thorin’s stubbornness and temper. She scowled at him a lot for a five year old.

But, before she could protest someone knocked on the door of the King’s chambers. Kili stood in the doorway when Thorin answered. His nephew smiled at Thorthna as she twirled around the room, tugging at her braids.

“Is she ready?”

Thorin gestured to his daughter. “I honestly don’t know. I just spent a half hour braiding hair and she still isn’t pleased about it.”

“It’ll be fine.” Kili touched his uncle’s shoulder. “Take a breath.”

Thorin complied then called for his daughter. Thorthna ran up to Kili throwing her around his neck as he picked her up.

“How are we today?” Kili asked smiling at the child.

“Daddy tried to braid my hair, but it’s not like Bilbo does it.” She pouted, her bottom lip pushed out.

“Well it will be fine, I promise. We’re going outside anyways. I’ll help you make a crown to cover the braids.”

Thorthna smiled and Kili sat her back down. He looked at Thorin whose eyes looked confused.

“Have you ben mentioning him to her?” Thorin asked wondering how his young had heard of the hobbit. Kili shook his head.

“I haven’t ever said his name in front of her. How could she know how he braids hair?”

Thorin shrugged. “I’ll talk to her about it after you come back.” Kili nodded and held Thorthna’s hand as they headed for the main gates of Erebor leaving Thorin confused about how his daughter had learned of his hobbit.

~

Thorin was sitting in front of the fire when Kili and Fili returned with Thorthna. She wore a small flower crown upon her head and her smile was tired. She must’ve run all over the mountain side with the dwarves. She came to Thorin when Fili sat her down. The King under the Mountain lifted her into his lap and kissed her forehead.

“Did you have fun today?” Thorin asked.

Thorthna nodded. “Kili made me a crown and we pretended that I was a princess.” She laid her head against the dwarf king’s broad shoulder, exhaustion taking over. Thorin hated to rouse her, but he needed to ask her about Bilbo. Thorin nodded to his nephews who were leaving the room. He gently rubbed his daughter’s back, waking her.

“Darling?” The young girl glanced up, sleep in her eyes.

“Who is Bilbo?” Thorin asked gently.

The young dwarf yawned. “He’s your friend, Daddy. The one Mister Gandalf talks about.” Thorin wondered how often Gandalf had been mentioning the hobbit to Thorthna.

“Does Gandalf talk about him a lot?”

His daughter nodded. “He says that you miss him.”

Thorin felt his heart break. He did miss Bilbo. He ached for the hobbit, for his kind smile and gentle eyes, for his soft touch and warm kisses. Thorin felt tears surfacing, but held them back. He had another question to ask his daughter.

“How do you know how Bilbo braids hair?” he asked. 

“Mister Gandalf said that he used to braid your hair, Daddy.” She tugged at the braid that lay against Thorin’s face. He assumed that she thought Bilbo had made the braids that were in his hair currently and he let the issue rest. He would have a talk with Gandalf later about his mentioning the hobbit. He carried Thorthna into the bedroom so that she could sleep off her exciting day.

Thorin knew that one day she would ask why she only had a father and he would have to tell her about Bilbo and why he wasn’t around. He felt guilt in his heart because she would only hear the stories about him, but he also knew that she may feel responsible for his absence and Thorin never wanted her to feel that way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin talks with Gandalf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

“Don’t talk to her about Bilbo,” Thorin said. He had been furious to learn that the Wandering Wizard had been telling his daughter about her deceased father. He had wanted to wait before telling her about the hobbit; wanted Thorthna to be ready for that news, but now that she had heard about him Thorin had been forced with telling her a little about him. She was so young and he didn’t think she was ready to know about the hobbit. Thorin was sure that she wouldn’t understand everything quite yet.

“She is his daughter too, Thorin. She has a right to know about him,” Gandalf stated. “Are you going to hide him from her forever?”

“She isn’t ready to know about him yet.”

“Or perhaps you don’t want to share him with her.”

“That’s absurd,” Thorin said shaking his head.

“What will you do when she begins to ask about him? When she gets old enough to understand that something happened to him? Will you hide the truth from her then?”

“I will tell her when we’re both ready.”

“You will never be ready, Thorin Oakenshield.” Gandalf gazed at the dwarf king. “You hide behind your pain instead of embracing it.”

“Stop telling her about Bilbo,” Thorin said and walked out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorthna is now 13 and wanting to know about Bilbo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Thorin was sitting in his office when he heard giggles emanating in the hallway. He stood, making his way to the office door when his daughter emerged. She was smiling at someone out in the hallway and Thorin barely got a glimpse of the boy before she shut the door.

“Who was that out there with you?” Thorin asked as Thorthna embraced him.

“He’s just a friend, Daddy.” She smiled up at him.

“I think that I should meet this boy,” Thorin said.

“There’s no need. You already know him.”

“I do?” Thorin’s eyes widened. “Who is he?”

Thorin’s daughter laughed. “Harlin. He helps Balin in the library.”

Thorin looked confused for a moment.

“Daddy, he delivers the documents to you from Balin.” Thorthna sounded exasperated. Thorin wondered how long she had been spending time with the young dwarf. She was only thirteen, far too young to be getting involved with dwarves.

“Oh, right,” Thorin said absently. He noticed his daughter making her way towards the door once more.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s obvious that you’re going to ignore my presence so I’m going to the library.”

“Oh. I thought we were going to talk…” Thorin wanted to tell her to stay away from that dwarf she had been spending time with, but he didn’t quite have the heart. He only wanted her safety, but if she had found a source of happiness how could he take it away from her?

“What is it you wish to talk about?” She moved to sit in another chair across from the desk that at in the middle of the office.

“Uh, I think, perhaps, it’s time to discuss, uh, sex.” Thorin took a deep breath.

“Daddy, you don’t have to. I already know about sex.”

“You do? You’re not doing it, are you?’

“No! Of course not!” Thorthna stood, furious. “How could you think that?”

Thorin shook his head. “I just wanted to make sure. I trust you, Darling.”

“No, you don’t.” Thorthna ran from the room and slammed the office door.

 _Well that was disastrous_ , Thorin thought. His first sex talk with his daughter and he had infuriated her by suggesting that she wasn’t being responsible.

_Way to go, Thorin._

~

Thorthna made her way through the halls until she reached the library. She weaved between the various shelves until she reached the gardening section. She knelt down and wrapped her knuckles against the various floorboards until she found the hollowed out section. She had found the worn journal about a year ago and knew that it was her father’s. She had begun reading through the many entries and found that there were many things she hadn’t known about her mighty father.

As she read she found solace in the words and knew that everything would be alright.

_Dearest Journal,_

_I write to you in hopes that I might find peace within these dwarvish halls. Erebor has been reclaimed and there are many things to do. Thorin was wounded during the battle and he is resting as comfortable as possible. I worry for him for his wounds were great. Gandalf did what he could to help heal the dwarf king, but there is still a slight chance that Thorin may not survive. I’m not sure what I would do if he died. My love for that stubborn dwarf is far too great and I feel that a part of me would die with him if he should leave this earth._

_There are so many things that I want to say to him, but am afraid to because of his condition. A part of me wants to yell at him for being foolish and the other wants to kiss him and give him as much affection as possible. Perhaps that’s where love comes from. Being angry at someone, but still being able to worry and care about them. I only hope that one day we can live in peace, not having to concern ourselves with the hatred of the world. I hope that one day we will have a family and live happily with our little ones._

_Bilbo_

As Thorthna read through the entries that concerned the details of the Battle of Five Armies she realized that Thorin had left out so much detail. He had never spoken of Bilbo or their relationship. She wanted to know why her father wasn’t around and who he was. She wondered where he was now. What was he doing that was keeping him from seeing her grow up? She turned a page in the journal to continue reading when she happened upon an entry about her.

_Dearest Journal,_

_I found out today that I’m pregnant. I haven’t told Thorin yet, but I’m not even sure if I should. This was so unexpected and there are so many other things to be concerned with at the moment. The kingdom hasn’t been fully restored yet and Thorin needs to be putting his energy towards rebuilding the kingdom instead of worrying about me. I just wish that this decision to tell him wasn’t so difficult._

_I know that I will have this baby regardless of what Thorin says because I already love it. I’m not sure how that is possible, but I do. I can feel my heart making room in it for this young child that I carry within me. I hope that it knows that I care for it with all my heart and that I can’t wait to meet when it’s time to give birth. I think this is the first time I’ve truly understood how it feels to be a parent, to love someone that is not even born yet. How magical._

_Bilbo_

Thorthna shut the journal and placed it back in its hiding spot. She wondered how her father could have loved her so much and then abandoned her to the halls of Erebor. She wanted to know why Thorin hadn’t told her about Bilbo and why he was hiding the truth from her.

She walked into the scribe office. Balin sat at a small wooden desk looking over scrolls. She greeted him and asked if he had a moment.

“Of course. What can I do for you?”

“Tell me about Bilbo.”

Balin was silent, his expression conflicted. “I-I think that’s a subject for your father to breech.”

“He won’t tell me.” Thorthna whispered.

“My dear, it is not my place to tell you. It is Thorin’s.”

“Why did Bilbo abandon me?” Thorthna cried. She felt a hand touch her shoulder, turning to see her father.

“Why did he leave us, Daddy? Why didn’t he want me?” Tears coated Thorthna’s face. Thorin embraced her and held onto her while she sobbed.

“It’s not your fault, Darling. You did nothing wrong.”

“Did he not love me?”

“Oh, he loved you very much. Don’t ever doubt that, my dear.” Thorin looked at his daughter knowing that it was time to tell her about Bilbo. He had waited for so long that she thought the hobbit had left them both here in abandonment.

He led her out of the library and down into the garden area that Bilbo had kept during his time in Erebor. Thorin had kept it healthy with some help from the company. He had never told Thorthna of this place because it was where he came to grieve for his deceased husband.

“This was Bilbo’s garden,” Thorin explained. “He would always come here to get some peace from the world. It was his place of solitude. He came here a lot when he was pregnant with you, in fact.”

Thorin watched as his daughter move around the plants, gazing at them in wonder.

“I never told you about this place because this was a part of him that I wanted to keep for myself. There was a time when you were younger…Gandalf had talked with you about the hobbit.”

“Hobbit? You mean he wasn’t a dwarf?”

Thorin shook his head. “Bilbo was a hobbit, my dear. And a wonderful one at that. He had an effect on everyone that he came in contact with. He was jovial and kind. He always smiled and he could brighten a bad day with a simple comment or action. He was the love of my life.”

“Why did he leave?”

“He didn’t leave, Thorthna. The night you were born there were some complications. Bilbo’s heart rate dropped and he had trouble breathing after they had stitched up his incision. I’m not completely sure what happened, but one moment he was there and the next he wasn’t. He just…stopped breathing.” Thorin took a moment to breathe. It had been so long since he had thought about the night Bilbo had died.

He had seemed alright during the birthing process although he was in pain. Bilbo had been so strong all the way through, but death had been stronger in those last moments. Bilbo had been holding Thorthna when his breathing had started becoming difficult. Thorin had given their daughter to Fili and tried to tend to Bilbo and help him steady his breathing, but nothing had worked. Bilbo had died within thirty minutes after giving birth to Thorthna.

“My dear, I’m sorry that I have kept this from you. I wanted to wait until you were older and could understand better…and I don’t think I was ready to tell you either.”

Thorthna hugged Thorin. She had wanted to know what had happened, but she never had imagined that Bilbo had died. She thought him alive somewhere living a different life; a better life without her and her father, but she had been wrong.

“You have his curly hair and his smile.”

“I do?”

Thorin nodded. “You look so much like him. You have his spirit as well. He was always happy. He saw all of the goodness in the world and he wanted the best for you. I see so much of him in you.”

“Do you miss him, Daddy?”

Thorin nodded. “Every day. He was in my life for a short time and I wish that I could’ve had more time with him, but he left you with me. I’ve never been so grateful for having you.”

Thorthna smiled. Thorin took her hand in his and they walked out of the garden together. The dwarf king felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had worried about Thorthna’s reaction to this news, but she seemed grateful to have found out the truth. Thorin hoped that this would bring them closer together from here on out.

“Now about that dwarf you’re seeing…”

“Ugh, Daddy…” Thorthna whined as they walked through the halls of Erebor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) Enjoy!

Thorin woke to the sound of his daughter’s voice coming from the kitchen. It seemed like ages since the young girl had been in her father’s chambers. Thorin had given Thorthna her own after she learned about Bilbo and he knew that she loved having his trust to take care of herself in a way.

She finally had turned seventeen and Thorin had begun to worry once more. She was around more male dwarves than Thorin cared for, but especially that assistant of Balin’s, Harlin.

That dwarf found such interest in Thorthna that it was too much in Thorin’s opinion. After he and his daughter had finally gotten through a “sex talk” Thorin felt even more worried about her going out and fucking. He knew that she was getting older, but she was still a baby in Thorin’s eyes. He wasn’t ready for her to grow up just yet.

Thorin climbed out of bed and padded into the kitchen where Thorthna and Kili sat talking. Thorin touched Thorthna’s shoulder lightly, smiling at her.

“Good morning,” Thorthna cooed. Fili shot her a mischievous grin making her falter a little. Thorin noticed the exchange between the two.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Thorthna said quickly.

“Someone’s got a date tonight,” Fili smiled narrowing his glance at the female before him.

“What do you mean ‘a date’?” Thorin asked staring at his daughter. “With who?”

“Daddy, it’s nothing.”

“With that dwarf that works for Balin,” Fili chimed.

“Fili!” Thorthna warned.

Her cousin laughed and grinned wide. Thorin on the other hand was scowling.

“You know I don’t want you dating,” Thorin stated.

“It’s just dinner,” Thorthna shot back. “And I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”

“You’re not going.” Thorin gave her a stern look.

“Yes, I am.” Thorthna stood facing off with her father.

“You will not defy me.”

“Bilbo would let me go,” Thorthna said. Thorin’s eyes widened at the mention of his late husband. Of course Bilbo would’ve let her go, but Thorin wasn’t Bilbo. He just couldn’t let her grow up so fast.

“No. That’s the end of it.”

Thorin walked back into his bedroom and got ready for the day’s meetings.

~

Thorthna walked into the library and made her way to the section of shelves that hid Bilbo’s journal. She had read through the entire journal, but there were still times when she sought the comfort of the worn pages.

She deeply wished that Bilbo had been there today to back her up about dating. She was seventeen and it was a harmless dinner. She didn’t understand why her father didn’t approve of Harlin. He was kind and generous. He was the same age as Thorthna and she adored his love of books. He worked diligently for Balin and was always courteous towards others. She wished that Thorin could see what she saw when she looked at Harlin.

She flipped through the pages of the journal and began reading.

_Dearest Journal,_

_I write to you in hopes that today goes well. Thorin has been so distant as of late and I wonder what has made him this way. When he felt the baby kick for the first time I recall the way his eyes lit up and he didn’t want to remove his hand from my middle. Now he barely has enough time to see me. I fear that something is going to happen. Perhaps he is tired of this baby nonsense or he misses our late night trysts, but of that I do not know for he won’t tell me what ails him. I hope that this phase he’s in passes soon. I miss him deeply and want him back._

_Bilbo_

Thorthna was pulled from the pages when a hand touched her shoulder. She shut the journal and turned to see Harlin kneeling next to her.

“Light reading?” Harlin smiled.

“Just needed some time to reflect,” She answered. “My father has refused to let me have dinner with you.”

“When has that ever stopped you?” Harlin chuckled. Thorthna smiled and leaned up to kiss Harlin’s cheek.

“Never.”

“That’s my girl,” Harlin kissed Thorthna’s lips lightly. “Want to meet at the usual spot?”

Thorthna nodded.

“I’ll see you then,” Harlin said before rising to go back to the scribe office.


End file.
